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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Gailick

Denton Buford was an awkward teenager with the typical pudgy face and bad case of acne. Every day of his life was unadulterated hell. Tortured at high school, ignored by everyone, all he wished for, day in and day out... all he ever wanted, was for something big to happen.

As he threw his backpack on his cluttered desk, his father yelled at him from downstairs. "Denny! Garbage!"

"In a minute!" he yelled back.

It was the same routine, over and over.

He sat dejectedly on his bed bemoaning his life when a noise from the street outside caused him to rise and move to his window. He stood behind the curtains, peering out.

It was Johnny, star quarterback from across the street. He was pulling up in his red convertible with a backseat full of screaming cheerleaders.

Denton edged forward for a better look. Johnny was everything that Denton wasn't. Good-looking, athletic... cool. God, how he hated Johnny.

The football player glanced up and caught Denton spying on him from above. "Wassup, Jedi? Post any new YouTube vids lately?"

At this, the girls in the back all started giggling hysterically. Johnny was, of course, referring to the infamous video which showed Denton prancing around in his underwear while waving a plastic lightsaber and reciting lines from The Phantom Menace.

Denton slipped to one side, just out of view, as Johnny and his harem drove off.

God, how he envied Johnny.

A brilliant flash of blinding light suddenly exploded next to Denton, sending him running for the security of his bed. He raised his head and what he saw next would stain his memory forever.

A small man in a bright green jumpsuit sat excitedly on the windowsill. "Hello there," he smiled.

Denton stared at him. The strange man didn't seem menacing, with his shiny eyes and toothy grin.

"Don't be afraid, my lad," said the man. He waved a hand at Denton encouraging him to come forth. "I've travelled a very long distance to find you."

Denton rose to his feet, his knees knocking. He tried to speak, but nothing came out. He coughed and cleared his voice. "Who are you? What do you want?"

The little man smiled, lifted his palms in the air and said simply, "I am the Gailick!"

Denton looked at the man with a blank expression.

"I'm here for you, my lad!"


The Gailick nodded enthusiastically. "Come, sit down." He motioned to a nearby chair. In the next several minutes, the man in the green jumpsuit told of his journey across the galaxy. He spoke of his people, their customs, and the futuristic world they inhabited.

Denton sat slack-jawed, eyes opened wide. He was spellbound. Finally Denton worked up the courage to speak. "But what's this got to do with me?"

The Gailick sat back, his eyes flashed with fiery enthusiasm. "You're the one, my boy. We searched the entire galaxy and have decided on you. We want you to become the Supreme Ruler of our universe."


The man closed his eyes, smiled and nodded.

Denton stood and his eyes caught sight of his pudgy reflection in the mirror. He certainly didn't seem the Supreme Ruler-type.

The Gailick must have been reading his thoughts. "Of course, in order to survive on our planet, you'll need to assume the shape of a native inhabitant." The man made a fist and from the ring on his middle finger he emitted a three-dimensional projection in the center of the room.

The being depicted in the projection looked like a Greek God. Sculpted muscles, perfect nose and jaw, and very well-endowed below the waist.

Denton's heart leapt to his throat. "I'm gonna look like that?"

"And," the little man continued, "there's the Princess you're to wed, once of course you've had your fill of the local fare." The image flickered and changed to a beautiful Goddess, more stunning than anything Denton had ever laid eyes on.

"When do we leave?" asked Denton, hopping to his feet.

The Gailick smiled and offered his hand. "Right now, if you so desire."

As Denton extended his hand, his attention was grabbed by the sound of a car coming to a halt on the street outside. He stuck his head out the window and saw Johnny who was headed to his front door. "Guess what, Johnny!" Denton taunted. "I'm gonna get to go to a planet a million miles away and have sex with a lot of beautiful girls. You won't be kicking around the kid on 324 Sycamore Lane any more!"

The football player below just stared at him expressionless as Denton pulled his head back inside and reached for the Gailick's hand.

The little man drew his hand back. Denton looked at him blankly.

"Did you say '324 Sycamore'?" the Gailick asked.

Denton nodded.

"Oops." And in another blinding flash of light, the little man was gone.

Denton rushed to the windowsill and screamed, "No!"

A moment later he saw Johnny from across the street stride up into his room, followed by a flash of light at his window. He could make out the little man with the green jumpsuit in his room. "Aw shit," Denton moaned.

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